Writing Your Own Vows

Writing Your Own Wedding Vows? Read This.

We’ve got your entire wedding day planned. Everything from the getting ready playlist to the sparkler send-off. There is just one very important piece of your wedding left to figure out. Your wedding vows. Deciding whether or not to write your own vows is key when it comes to planning your ceremony. In fact, it’s probably the first thing your officiant will ask you. Will you recite traditional vows? Will you opt for personal vows written by yourself? Will you for a hybrid of the two? Some couples consider writing their vows a beautiful opportunity. Others straight up experience nausea immediately at the thought. There’s no right answer, which is why we’ve created a pros and cons list to help you decide what to do.

Pros

1. You know your relationship better than anyone else 

Traditional wedding vows just might not cover the expanse of your relationship. Sometimes more needs to be said. You may want to promise something more specific. For example, you may want to include a few lyrics from one of your favorite songs. Personalizing your vows in a way that changes the entire tone of the ceremony. Your guests will love that you included them in such an intimate and emotional exchange.

2. You get to be as creative as you want!

Sing, dance, write a poem, or include some comic relief…it’s your moment. Include whatever you want. These are your wedding vows so it is entirely up to you.

3. It will mean so much more coming from you 

Affirmation is a big love language. For many, hearing you tell your other half tell you exactly why you fell in love you with them and how they plan on cherishing that love is undeniably beautiful. When you write your own vows, you have the opportunity to let your future spouse, and your guests, know what is truly in your heart. It’s a bold and courageous move that won’t be lost on your partner!

While we know the pros are definitely persuasive, writing wedding vows is not for everyone. Here are some cons for those of you who are still unsure:

Cons

1. Public speaking is harder than it looks

Not everyone is comfortable speaking in front of a crowd. If you think speaking for a minute or two in front of family and friends is going to cause undue stress then don’t do it. The last thing you want on your wedding day, is to be stressed.

2. Not everyone is Shakespeare 

We’re not implying that you need to know iambic pentameter in order to write your own vows (thank goodness!) However, we are saying that not everyone feels confident putting pen to paper. It can be intimidating. Don’t force yourself to express your love in a way you normally wouldn’t.

3. Putting yourself out there can be scary

There’s no way getting around the fact that when you write your own wedding vows, you have to be completely open about your emotions in front of your guests. If you like sharing anything this deeply personal then writing your own vows might not be for you.

Bottom line: don’t let anything about your wedding cause you undue stress. If you’re feeling uneasy about writing personal vows, then don’t. You want to feel relaxed when you marry your best friend. Don’t feel obligated to do anything outside of your comfort zone. For those of you who are writing your ceremony vows, be on the lookout for another blog post on writing vows soon!